Saturday, February 16, 2008

On a Completely Unrelated Topic...

Ok, I admit it. I was really bored, and it was Thursday night. I was out of Netflix, I didn't feel like reading a book, and I'd already read all the blogs, all the press clips, googlenews, politico, realclearpolitics, craigslist, huffpost, drudge and everyone else. Sorry Kos, didn't mean to forget you, I just didn't read you Thursday. Seriously, can we get someone who can compose a sentence on your page?

So anyway, I'm flipping through Network TV (I know, I know), and I come across The Celebrity Apprentice. Or is it The Apprentice: Celebrity? Or whatever. And yes, I stopped. Mostly because I saw what I was certain was fat Danny Baldwin, and wondered how the hell he ended up on a Celebrity show, even a C-List one. But turned out to be Steven. Now, also fat. And on a side note, since this is the meta-verse of instant updates, I just accidentally hit Stephen's (yeah, misspelled the first time but I can't be bothered to change it, he's just not worth the effort) official homepage. It has a Jesus Rap (???!!?!?!?!?!) theme, and apparently Stevey's a big Huckabee fan. It turns out it's a long way from BioDome.

Ok, back to the point. So I stop briefly thinking Stephen is Danny, only to notice that Amarosa is now on the Celebrity Apprentice. Now as it happens, I only know who Amarosa is because I saw her on The Surreal Life a few seasons back, again while flipping through TV stations. And when I see her, back then, I glean that she came to her B-List fame (which landed her in a house full of other B-List personalities) by being some sort of ruthless and raging (word I'll spare my older female relatives that Jane Fonda recently used live on the Today Show) on... Ta-Da... The Apprentice.

I realize that the circular masturbatory nature of pop-culture is incredible. It's getting hard to track what comes first, the chicken's agent or the egg's agent, and whether someone was famous before the breakdown or because of the breakdown. Reality TV only makes it worse, of course. But seriously, can't we draw the line somewhere? And yes, I know that Donald Trump is the most self-aggrandizing, self-promoting, fake celebrity I can think of at the moment, but for Christ's sake, at least he earned his fame by losing money on a casino. I mean that takes some talent, right? But now, we've got a chick on a (B and C-List) celebrity reality show, whose entire claim to fame is that she was on the normal people version of the same show? Let me replay that for you, real quick. She is now one of the decidedly washed up "Celebrities" on a celebrity program. She became a celebrity by being the most obnoxious person on the non-celebrity version of the same show. Which means that either somehow being on Reality TV actually makes people with no claim other than having been on Reality TV into celebrities? WTF? And in some way this is relevant to what I normally talk about. I'll let you, my friend, come up with your own extrapolations, without my input. But if Hollywood and Washington get anymore circular in their logic, they're gonna stir up enough of a whirlpool to flush themselves. Let's hope it's sooner, rather than later.

Seriously, people. That's all I gots.

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